maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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