She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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