It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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