Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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