you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
