my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
