we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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