bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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