i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
