We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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