I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
