so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
