our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
