Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
