my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
