it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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