Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
