so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
