I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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