Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
