I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
