apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
