I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize