Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
