his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
