walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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