Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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