You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
