Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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