And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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