so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
