Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
