I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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