the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
