She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize