My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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