a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
