We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
