shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
