so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
