I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
