Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
