Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
