what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
