We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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