I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
