so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
