Where did you get a picture of my penis
My hand turned me down
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
