for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize