i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
