My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
