just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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