looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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