Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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