So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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