So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
