I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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