You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
either way he was missing a nipple.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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