Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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