I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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