i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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