Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
