I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
