Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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