I didn't shave. On purpose
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
