I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
