on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
