You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
