i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
