y did u give ur computer a hand job?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
