please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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